Much of my trauma remained because I felt as though I lacked the physical means to protect myself. I decided to dust off long-forgotten skills and head back to the range. There was no harm in trying, and if nothing else, I could reinvigorate a once-loved hobby.
That first day, I was inexplicably terrified. I felt the familiar feeling of panic starting to set in, but I was there with a mission. My power was mine and mine alone. I was taking it back. I stepped back, reminded myself that I was capable, and went over the shooting fundamentals in my head. My grip, my stance, my breathing. That’s when I started to relax – breathing, slowly and controlled. The panic began to slip away, and I loaded my firearm.
I tried to keep my expectations low. Shooting, after all, isn’t like riding a bicycle. It’s a diminishing skill set. I set my target close and picked up my firearm, feeling a familiar comfort in my hands. I took my first shot. It was by no means perfect, but I was on target. I refused to stop until fatigue set in, and I decided to pack up for the day. I left the range with a feeling of euphoria.
The panic was gone – for now – and my head felt clear for the first time in years. A small piece of me returned that day. I was obsessed.
That day, I didn’t shoot perfectly, but I showed up. I kept showing up, returning day after day and week after week, rebuilding my skills and my confidence. The more I trained, the more I realized that power isn’t given; it’s claimed.
I started training several times each week. If I was bored, anxious, or feeling overwhelmed, I went to the range. I started to find my rhythm again and realized that shooting was cathartic and calming.
I began to conceal carry and take defensive shooting classes. There was comfort in owning, carrying, and being proficient with a firearm; that made me start to feel safe again. Slowly, I stopped feeling like the victim I had been for so many years.
I became a survivor. I became my own first responder. I was never going to let myself be victimized again.
Through therapy and self-work, I came to understand that my trauma didn’t make me weak. It made me resourceful and deeply empathetic to others who felt powerless. That’s when I decided to become a firearms instructor. I didn’t only want to heal; I wanted to help others do the same. I wanted to create a safe space where women like me could not only learn how to shoot, but also how to reclaim their power.
I founded S&S Shooters LLC with that mission. We don’t just teach firearms safety; we teach empowerment and self-defense. My clients aren’t just students; they’re mothers, daughters, sisters, and often, trauma survivors. My goal is for every woman to leave class feeling empowered.
The gun range became my sanctuary. My safe space to heal. Teaching others showed me who I was always meant to be.
