If I Were an Anti-Gun Politician

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You wanna know why anti-gun politicians want you unarmed and defenseless? You really want the truth?

If I were an anti-gun politician, I wouldn’t want you to have more than seven rounds in your magazine because you might kill the bad guys, and I need them to commit crimes and keep people in a state of constant fear. You see, without fear you wouldn’t vote for me when I promise to keep you safe.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would want to make it so time-consuming, expensive, and difficult for you to get a handgun license that you would eventually just give up. I would make you jump through every hoop I could think of, just as long as you are prevented from carrying a gun in public. The bad guys? No no no, I need them to have guns. This is how I create a victim-predator society that keeps me in power.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would create policies to confiscate your guns and call them “extreme risk protection orders” because I want the ability to enter your home, take your guns, and deny you the constitutional right of due process. Call them “red flag” laws or whatever you want. It doesn’t matter to me as long as I have the legal ability to take them.

If I were an anti-gun politician I would want to create a firearm registry, so I know exactly who you are, what guns you own, and of course, the home address where those guns could be found because I’ll need to know where to go when I execute my red flag laws.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would want you and your family to be vulnerable in your own home. So, I would create legislation that would require you to keep your guns locked in a safe, basically, useless. I will decide your fate and I will do everything I can to protect the bad guys from you… and yes, there will be mandatory in-home inspections to make sure you are complying.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would demonize the most commonly owned rifles by calling them “assault weapons.” I would create a national anti-gun fear-campaign and spread this propaganda term far and wide, so the people who can’t think for themselves would fear these guns and not even know why. Then, of course they would support whatever legislation was proposed that promised to outlaw those scary guns.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would convince society that if you don’t need a gun, you shouldn’t have one. I would say things like, “nobody needs an AR-15,” or “why do you need to carry a gun in public?” I would make it look ridiculous for anyone to argue in defense of such a dangerous practice. I would make people mistake their God-given rights for government-issued privileges measured by a metric of need that I determine.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would create gun-free zones to allow killers the safe space to do their dirty work, unimpeded. Yes, I would keep you unarmed and advertise your vulnerability to every crazed lunatic by posting “gun free zone” signs. After the inevitable mass shootings that would occur, I would then use those shooting deaths as justification for more gun restrictions… on you.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would expand those gun-free zones to schools and disarm all teachers and staff making the children vulnerable. I would put a sign on the building announcing that everyone inside is unarmed and helpless. I would make it as easy as possible for maniacs to kill children because dead children are a great selling tool for gun laws.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would embrace the terminology used to push an anti-gun fear campaign. I would use terms like “gun violence” because I would want people to believe that the gun is the cause of the violent human behavior. I would want people to think that without the gun, the killer wouldn’t kill. I know it doesn’t make any logical sense, but people are stupid and emotionally driven, and I’ll capitalize on that.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would convince you that the Second Amendment is old and out of touch. I’d use a more sophisticated word like “antiquated” because I want to appeal to your need to feel intellectual and try to convince you that if you denounce firearm ownership, you’ll be more progressive and more forward-thinking.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would convince people that guns are the leading cause of child death. Of course, I would have to coerce organizations to create fake studies that include adults up to 24 years old and gang members in their statistics, but that doesn’t matter, people don’t pay attention. They just believe the first thing that pops up in their internet search.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would tell you I support the Second Amendment, and that the right to keep and bear arms should not be infringed upon while at the same time, convincing you that some regulations are OK. The “fudds” that agreed with this principle would become my useful propaganda mouthpieces backing my gun-control initiatives.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would convince you that a gun registry should be implemented for all firearm purchasers. Of course, I would camouflage it as a background check for the purpose of, you know… keeping you safe. Yes, I know the bad guys ignore background checks altogether, but I would push the notion that without these you will be in grave danger. I’ll tell you it so often you wouldn’t dare believe anything else. If that works, I’ll even push for universal background checks to prevent you from sharing a gun at the range.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would create an endless list of requirements to purchase a gun and a faulty background check system that would falsely deny thousands of people every year and prevent them from purchasing a gun. I’d make the appeals process so difficult and expensive that most would just give up and accept it.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would convince you that certain firearms only belong on the battlefield. Heck, I’d even come up with a scary name for them. I’d call them “weapons of war.” I would create such fear around these guns that you would be afraid to leave your house.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would convince you that the only reason anyone would have a gun is to take lives. I would even call them “assault weapons” for effect. I certainly wouldn’t tell you that they are used millions of times every year in America alone to stop acts of violence and save lives. I would demonize these objects until you started parroting my propaganda terms. I would make the term “assault weapon” part of your vocabulary. I would repeat it so often, heck, I might even get gun owners to start saying it.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I wouldn’t tell you I want you disarmed so I can control your life, I would tell you gun laws are for your own safety.

If I were an anti-gun politician, I would do everything I can to disarm society so I can take over. I would make a mockery out of your Founding Fathers and their silly ideas, because, well… I’m in charge now.

And of course, I would make exceptions to all of the above laws and restrictions for my closest allies, friends, and members of law enforcement who do my bidding. I would make sure that I have guns and you don’t.

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